SEVEN SEPTEMBER

I remember it was a Friday. I woke up in bad shape. It seemed like everything was falling apart. I could barely function. The folks were over at the lake, enjoying a beautiful, calm, warm morning when i showed up. The old man was watching CNN and Star was puttering around in the kitchen. I sat in the chair next to the TV, facing the elder. He was watching that stupid stock ticker, getting the figures on....then out of nowhere i started to sob uncontrolably. As wonderful and supportive as they both were, they didn't do well when faced with a half hysterical middle aged son falling apart next to the morning stock ticker. Who does?
I don't know why I felt it necessary to even be there, but I did. They did their best with me, but i could tell I was just making things worse. It was one thing to crumble in the privacy of my own shack, another to place my psychosis at the feet of the elders. I didn't stay long. When i got home i knew what i had to do. I called Friendly's cell. I took the chance and she picked up. "Hey you." she said in a cheery, chipper voice. "Let me pull over I'm in the car." Then I did a repeat performance of the drooling, sobbing mess i had become. To my surprise she was empathetic and calmed me down. It easily could have gone the other way. We talked. I started to breathe again.
"We should meet. I hate to see you like this." she said. Yeah. Yeah. I know you think it's a trap, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut. We made a date to meet in the EV on Monday afternoon. I had to do something...anything to shake myself out of the depression. Maybe just one more face to face would do it. I made myself something to eat and sat out in the screened porch, staring at the ASSHOLENEIGHBOR'S fence, writing in my journal: "So Baby- I'm writing this on Sept. 7, 2001, hoping there will be no more developments between now and Monday......"