O TRIPLE S

In the summmer of 1999 I made a deal with El Prof. and SFAI to run a conceptual summer school session for 20 students from SF. It was called The Old School for Social Sculpture. Everything went into overdrive to prepare for it. I called my more famous artist friends like Kiki Smith, Buddy Orange, Alix Lambert, Linda Montano, etc., to get them to partake and got things ready. I set up a campground in the back of the school house and Mrs. Y prepared a menu for their 10 day stay. I told her I would hire a cook, but she would have none of it. "I don't want anyone in my kitchen." she decreed. I knew this was potential trouble. But what could I do? The Mrs. had a bad habit of not letting anyone help her do anything, taking it all on her shoulders, and ALWAYS finding the appreciation lacking in the end. It was a character flaw I found difficult to get around.
The day before the students arrived we had a big fight. Mrs. Yummy kicked a big dent in my innocent little Neon and threatened to jump ship. I was forced to admit it was all my fault....again. I crossed my fingers that i had quelled the talk of mutiny. All went swimmingly at first. The students were bright, fun and thrilled to be able to smoke cigarettes anywhere they wanted. The faculty came and went in 24 hour shifts and i scrambled to keep everyone happy. Then I made the mistake of not being a hard ass about the dinner schedule. "DON'T YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T SERVE FISH LATE? YOU ASSHOLE!" Sorry. "And who's that woman? And why are you talking to that girl? I'M LEAVING!" Sorryyyyyy. Ah fuck it.
I was on such a high at being able to pull off this school, hang with my friend El Prof., groove with the students, (even the pretty girl ones) I had lost my patience for placating Mrs. Y. By day 5 it had all gone to hell in a hand basket. When i wasn't arguing (and trying to hide it from my guests) I was having the time of my life. It wasn't fair. Then one of the prettier faculty members showed up. That was it. Mrs. Yummy's scalp peeled back and a creature not unlike that Alien critter leaped for my throat. By the time i took the last student to bus at the end of the 10 days, I was once again single. "You can just stay down at the schoolhouse. I want a divorce." she told me. "Fine." I agreed. Summer school and my second marraige was over. So much for the high.