BACK DOOR MAN

Not only did I restart the thing with Shewho, I also had another affair going with this French woman, who was also married. Let me just say that it was not Izzy Stein's wife Fi-Fi. That would be wrong. This woman had a thing for inviting me out with her and her husband and playing footsy under the table or sitting on my thumb at the bar. You know how the French can be. It's all about the game. I played along, unencumbered by any sense of morality. She also had a very annoying habit of parting her fur coat, dropping her drawers and squatting to pee on the street. That may fly in Paris but on the LES it's frowned upon. "Yo homes! What up?" Sorry. She slipped her collar.
I was on the downward slide, so when Yummy came around and was single, over 30 and seemed to want what i wanted, I jumped at it. I broke it off with Shewho (again) and Frenchy, and decided this may be the last chance I would have to build a mature relationship. Yummy was a high end waitress at MK, The Royalton and later Inochine. She made good money and hated every minute of it. I could relate. I parted company with The Fish and got another gig working the door of Ace Bar on 6&B. I'd had knives and guns pulled on me at The Fish, and even been maced once, but was never hurt. A couple months after I started working at Ace I threw out an unruly drunk and in the process cracked a rib. That was it for me and door jobs. As much as i hated the prospect, I swallowed my pride and called Bimmy about getting another carpentry gig with the outfit he was working for. I was getting too old for the night life.
This was the beginnning of my ten year run with Asser and Assoc., one of the premier historical renovation specialists in Manhattan. Our prime stomping ground was the upper East and upper West sides, with most of our clients residing in The Dakota on W72nd. It wasn't unusual to cross paths with Yoko, ride the elevator with Lauren Bacall and fix Graydon Carter's broken table before coffee break. Joe Namath and Connie Chung were clients as was Carroll O'connor's kid. One day we were to send in our stripper (paint- not clothes) and we got word there was a problem. Mr. O'Connor was indisposed in LA. Turned out he had OD'd the night before. "Pack up your tools and make sure you leave by the back door. Yoko's on the war path. Someone talked to her in the hall." the boss commanded. All I said was "Hi." That how glamorous life was back then.