MAKING SENSE OF THE SPACE TIME CONTINUIM
After calling my plumber and finding out that his uncle, with 13 patents under his belt and a bad case of alzheimers, has died and he can't fix my pipes because he has to go to the funeral in Rochester, I switch off the cold line and turn on the hot. Then i run out of propane. Now no hot. I can still flush the toilet from a bucket filled in the bathtub. I go to make coffee and the pot crumbles in my hand. I have to heat water to wash and make coffee on the woodstove. I also have to cook my food there. I decide 12 years is long enough to go without TV and in my sorry cold water state order satellite TV with my credit card. No heat, hot water, coffee maker, or gas stove, but 250 channels are coming. I turn on the radio. This still works.
Earlier in the day i went to the drugstore to get my latest disposable video camera developed and as I waited I picked up a copy of Jane and Essence magazines. The editor in chief of Jane is an old friend Brandon Holly and the editor in chief of Essence is mother of my god daughter Eleni, Micheala Angela Davis. Both magazines are complete crap but the ladies look good. It bugs me all day how they can be so successful, look so good, and produce such garbage. If I hadn't of gone to the drugstore i wouldm\n't have given it a second thought. I order more propane and get in a giant argument with Dawn (the evil shebitch who works for the propane company CES). This does nothing but delay my delivery. I stink and am beginning to itch from lack of a shower.
On the radio is an interview with McCauley Caulkin. I remember my sixth degree of separation to Mac is Geoffrey Mayo the producer of Caulkin's first film- ROCKET GIBRALTAR- with Kevin Spacey and Kirk Douglas. I did a lot of work for the Mayos back in the day. A kid in the drugstore said "Back in the day." And the girl at the counter said "The day is over." On Friday I call about the propane. Dawn tells me the truck has broken down. I swear I hear giggling in the background. Then DirectTV calls informing me that their installer is sick and I'll have to wait a day for my TV. The plumber is still at his uncle's funeral. I hear no giggling.
On Saturday morning Mercury begins to slide out of retrograde and The propane, plumber and TV guy all show up at once. Within an hour I have hot water, fixed pipes and a stove that works. I bought a coffee maker at the drugstore instead of the magazine so I make coffee, sit down and pick up the remote. It's tuned to channel 547. I give you one guess what movie is on. That's right. ROCKET GIBRALTAR. What gives?
Earlier in the day i went to the drugstore to get my latest disposable video camera developed and as I waited I picked up a copy of Jane and Essence magazines. The editor in chief of Jane is an old friend Brandon Holly and the editor in chief of Essence is mother of my god daughter Eleni, Micheala Angela Davis. Both magazines are complete crap but the ladies look good. It bugs me all day how they can be so successful, look so good, and produce such garbage. If I hadn't of gone to the drugstore i wouldm\n't have given it a second thought. I order more propane and get in a giant argument with Dawn (the evil shebitch who works for the propane company CES). This does nothing but delay my delivery. I stink and am beginning to itch from lack of a shower.
On the radio is an interview with McCauley Caulkin. I remember my sixth degree of separation to Mac is Geoffrey Mayo the producer of Caulkin's first film- ROCKET GIBRALTAR- with Kevin Spacey and Kirk Douglas. I did a lot of work for the Mayos back in the day. A kid in the drugstore said "Back in the day." And the girl at the counter said "The day is over." On Friday I call about the propane. Dawn tells me the truck has broken down. I swear I hear giggling in the background. Then DirectTV calls informing me that their installer is sick and I'll have to wait a day for my TV. The plumber is still at his uncle's funeral. I hear no giggling.
On Saturday morning Mercury begins to slide out of retrograde and The propane, plumber and TV guy all show up at once. Within an hour I have hot water, fixed pipes and a stove that works. I bought a coffee maker at the drugstore instead of the magazine so I make coffee, sit down and pick up the remote. It's tuned to channel 547. I give you one guess what movie is on. That's right. ROCKET GIBRALTAR. What gives?
posted by mike osterhout at 5:24 PM
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