THE GREAT ECSTASY OF THE HAMASTINIANS
The TV in the car dealership was tuned to CNN and I was the only one in the room for the entire morning. After a couple of cups of bad coffee I just sat there zonng out on the talking heads. Two things of major import were happening in the world. The first was the election of Hamas as the party of choice in Gaza. Young men with AKs and yellow flags- the Fatah party, besieged Pres. Abbas' house in Gaza city in a chaotic dance of gunfire, car burning and flag waving. There was good footage of the mess and a voice over by a Brit reporter. The woman back in CNN land kept feigning concern over the reporter's safety on the street. He was getting pissed over her insipid concern. He knew just how hollow it was.
The other big news event was Ophrah looking all serious at the camera apologizing for calling Larry King and standing behind James Frey's fake memoir. Cut away to Frey and Ophrah on the couch. Ophrah is pissed and Frey looks like he's just been called into the principle's office. Then back to CNN where the scary looking anchorwoman informs me that when Ophrah hyped the book it "flew" off the shelves and now that we found out it's fake, sales got even hotter. Now back to Gaza.
Fatah- yellow. Hamas- green. Fatah- corrupt losers. Hamas- suicide bombing winners. Everybody's got guns and beards and no job. My advice to Fatah is stop shooting in the air. Save that ammo boys. You may need it. The woman in the dealership comes in and sits down in the chair next to me, like she's going to give me very bad news. Brakes- shot. Valve cover- leaks. Needs a tune up. "You don't have anything to do this morning." she jokes and disappears. Ophrah comes back. It's the same clip. She apologizes again. Frey looks shell shocked. His bank account is swelling by the minute.
More minivans are set on fire. Once in a while a young boy jumps up, grins and gives the camera a victory sign. The green flags wave calmly. The yellow flags jerk and drop and stab at doors and windows and air conditioners. Car salesmen wander by and make more coffee. Not a soul comes in for a car all morning long. I remember this is the same dealership where somebody came in a couple of years back and killed a couple of people. I can't remember what it was all about. I think somebody was screwing somebody else's wife. I'm glad I left the nine at home. No sense in making anyone nervous.
It takes all morning to get my car in shape. It purrs as I head home, and stops on a dime. I reflect on the day's news. Democracy works. What the Soviets couldn't accomplish in Latin America, democratic elections has. Peru, Venezula, Chile....Mexico? And now Iraq and the Palestinians are getting on that democratic freedom train. Ophrah's sorry, as she should be. Frey's contrite and rich as a sultan. When the CNN reporter asks for the umpteenth time about the reporter's safety, he drops the phone. "We seem to have lost ________. While we try to reestablish our connection lets go back to Ophrah." JIHAD!
The other big news event was Ophrah looking all serious at the camera apologizing for calling Larry King and standing behind James Frey's fake memoir. Cut away to Frey and Ophrah on the couch. Ophrah is pissed and Frey looks like he's just been called into the principle's office. Then back to CNN where the scary looking anchorwoman informs me that when Ophrah hyped the book it "flew" off the shelves and now that we found out it's fake, sales got even hotter. Now back to Gaza.
Fatah- yellow. Hamas- green. Fatah- corrupt losers. Hamas- suicide bombing winners. Everybody's got guns and beards and no job. My advice to Fatah is stop shooting in the air. Save that ammo boys. You may need it. The woman in the dealership comes in and sits down in the chair next to me, like she's going to give me very bad news. Brakes- shot. Valve cover- leaks. Needs a tune up. "You don't have anything to do this morning." she jokes and disappears. Ophrah comes back. It's the same clip. She apologizes again. Frey looks shell shocked. His bank account is swelling by the minute.
More minivans are set on fire. Once in a while a young boy jumps up, grins and gives the camera a victory sign. The green flags wave calmly. The yellow flags jerk and drop and stab at doors and windows and air conditioners. Car salesmen wander by and make more coffee. Not a soul comes in for a car all morning long. I remember this is the same dealership where somebody came in a couple of years back and killed a couple of people. I can't remember what it was all about. I think somebody was screwing somebody else's wife. I'm glad I left the nine at home. No sense in making anyone nervous.
It takes all morning to get my car in shape. It purrs as I head home, and stops on a dime. I reflect on the day's news. Democracy works. What the Soviets couldn't accomplish in Latin America, democratic elections has. Peru, Venezula, Chile....Mexico? And now Iraq and the Palestinians are getting on that democratic freedom train. Ophrah's sorry, as she should be. Frey's contrite and rich as a sultan. When the CNN reporter asks for the umpteenth time about the reporter's safety, he drops the phone. "We seem to have lost ________. While we try to reestablish our connection lets go back to Ophrah." JIHAD!
posted by mike osterhout at 7:28 PM
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