GOD WILL BE CUT
Movie: KILL BILL 1. Scene: B. Kiddo is handed her custom made sword by Hatori Honzo with this warning. I'm paraphrasing. "If you happen to come across God with this sword....God will be cut." In a movie with great hokey lines, this is the best. Maybe I'll just start reviewing DVD lines. I give this one four and a half chopped off heads.
Another one of my favorite lines comes from my all time favorite TV show The Simpsons. It's spoken by the recurring hillbilly character- Cleatus. He has shimied up a telephone pole, looks at the wires and says to himself. "I can call Ma from here." Then he looks down and shouts "HEY MA!" I use this line when I want to proudly show my white trash, ridge runner roots and love for my mother in her presence. First I'll whisper to whatever sibling is sitting close by- "I can call Ma from here." They won't pay any attention to me. This is best accomplished in a nice restaurant or maybe a funeral palor, with my mother sitting just out of whisper shot. Then I'll cup my hands, catch my mother's eye, and in my best twang shout- "HEY MA!" She hates when I do this. I crack myself up.
In her first long email Sweets said how much she liked my family and fondly remembered my mother's spagetti dinners at our house in the late 60s. "Remember the time you pulled a hair from your plate and asked your mother if she wanted it back?" I didn't remember but I know I must have done it. With five kids almost in a row, my mother sure better have had a good sense of the absurd. We weren't mean kids but we were always trying to get over in one way or another. Mom ran a tight ship but she appreciated a good laugh as much as the next mom.
After a bout with cancer that damn near killed her, she's back almost 100%. Her sense of the absurd is even sharper now. She did battle with steel so tempered and sharp God didn't have a chance. He was nicked. There she is. Doesn't she look good? Psst. I can call her from here. HEY MA!
Another one of my favorite lines comes from my all time favorite TV show The Simpsons. It's spoken by the recurring hillbilly character- Cleatus. He has shimied up a telephone pole, looks at the wires and says to himself. "I can call Ma from here." Then he looks down and shouts "HEY MA!" I use this line when I want to proudly show my white trash, ridge runner roots and love for my mother in her presence. First I'll whisper to whatever sibling is sitting close by- "I can call Ma from here." They won't pay any attention to me. This is best accomplished in a nice restaurant or maybe a funeral palor, with my mother sitting just out of whisper shot. Then I'll cup my hands, catch my mother's eye, and in my best twang shout- "HEY MA!" She hates when I do this. I crack myself up.
In her first long email Sweets said how much she liked my family and fondly remembered my mother's spagetti dinners at our house in the late 60s. "Remember the time you pulled a hair from your plate and asked your mother if she wanted it back?" I didn't remember but I know I must have done it. With five kids almost in a row, my mother sure better have had a good sense of the absurd. We weren't mean kids but we were always trying to get over in one way or another. Mom ran a tight ship but she appreciated a good laugh as much as the next mom.
After a bout with cancer that damn near killed her, she's back almost 100%. Her sense of the absurd is even sharper now. She did battle with steel so tempered and sharp God didn't have a chance. He was nicked. There she is. Doesn't she look good? Psst. I can call her from here. HEY MA!
posted by mike osterhout at 9:09 AM
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