FIVE DOGS AND A RABBIT
Sporty, Shorty, Duke, Shauna, Kelly and Mr. Bunny- that were their names. I also had an earlier pink eyed white rabbit named Mopsy, but the weasel got him and we were never really close. The animal to human relationship I want to talk about is me and Mr. Bunny. Like some of my girlfriends, my pet's names have overlapped and reoccurred through out my life. There's another Mr. Bunny who comes up later. But I don't want to get ahead of myself. This is Mr. Bunny #1. The Berkeley years.
He was a cute as can be little brown Dutch Dwarf rabbit with the nastiest disposition on earth. Even as a tiny bundle of soft fur this rabbit would rear up on it's back legs, bare it's teeth and come at you with both fists flying. Honey had bought him at a flea market and we kept him on the back porch with the marijuana plants. I made a nice cage for him and put a removable shit try in the bottom. Mr. Bunny shat from dawn 'til dusk. I think he even took dumps in his sleep. He didn't like Honey or me, treating us both with equal contempt. That old adage about not biting the hand that feeds you carried no weight with Mr. Bunny. Are rabbits considered vermin? If not, they should be.
The thing with this kind of animal is the cute factor. The NY Times did a big article on this in the movies these days. Remember those insidious penguins? Cute right? Who knows what they got stuffed in their pockets when they leave the room. Ever seen a sea otter? The male breaks the female's neck and has sex with the corpse just for jollys. You like Fisher Cats? They're the only animal mean enough to take on the porcepine. And porcepines don't bother anything but car tires. These cutesy-pie critters are charismatic mini-fauna. Whales and grizzly bears are charismatic mega-fauna. Mr. Treadwell showed us how cute they are.
So it was with Mr. Bunny. He tricked everyone. Vistitors would OOOoooooo and Aaaaahhhh over him. He'd bat those big eyelashes, stand up and twitch his little nose. Then when the stupid human would bend over and put fingers within reach........well lets just say many was the time i had to plug in the extension cord and touch the frayed ends to that rabbit's privates in order to get him off someone's finger tip. Even though he treated Honey badly she loved him to death. She said he was just exhibiting his rabbit nature. She had a good way with animals. At least she didn't bring home a rattlesnake.
In the end I outlasted Mr. Bunny. He got sick one day after gnawing on his cage so much he got a blockage. "A log jam." the vet called it. Right before I pulled out my wallet and pealed off a C note to have him sent to a better coop, Mr. Bunny opened his beady little eyes and bared his worn down chompers. He looked right at me as if to say- just come a little closer and we'll see who outlasts who. Sweet dreams little feller.
He was a cute as can be little brown Dutch Dwarf rabbit with the nastiest disposition on earth. Even as a tiny bundle of soft fur this rabbit would rear up on it's back legs, bare it's teeth and come at you with both fists flying. Honey had bought him at a flea market and we kept him on the back porch with the marijuana plants. I made a nice cage for him and put a removable shit try in the bottom. Mr. Bunny shat from dawn 'til dusk. I think he even took dumps in his sleep. He didn't like Honey or me, treating us both with equal contempt. That old adage about not biting the hand that feeds you carried no weight with Mr. Bunny. Are rabbits considered vermin? If not, they should be.
The thing with this kind of animal is the cute factor. The NY Times did a big article on this in the movies these days. Remember those insidious penguins? Cute right? Who knows what they got stuffed in their pockets when they leave the room. Ever seen a sea otter? The male breaks the female's neck and has sex with the corpse just for jollys. You like Fisher Cats? They're the only animal mean enough to take on the porcepine. And porcepines don't bother anything but car tires. These cutesy-pie critters are charismatic mini-fauna. Whales and grizzly bears are charismatic mega-fauna. Mr. Treadwell showed us how cute they are.
So it was with Mr. Bunny. He tricked everyone. Vistitors would OOOoooooo and Aaaaahhhh over him. He'd bat those big eyelashes, stand up and twitch his little nose. Then when the stupid human would bend over and put fingers within reach........well lets just say many was the time i had to plug in the extension cord and touch the frayed ends to that rabbit's privates in order to get him off someone's finger tip. Even though he treated Honey badly she loved him to death. She said he was just exhibiting his rabbit nature. She had a good way with animals. At least she didn't bring home a rattlesnake.
In the end I outlasted Mr. Bunny. He got sick one day after gnawing on his cage so much he got a blockage. "A log jam." the vet called it. Right before I pulled out my wallet and pealed off a C note to have him sent to a better coop, Mr. Bunny opened his beady little eyes and bared his worn down chompers. He looked right at me as if to say- just come a little closer and we'll see who outlasts who. Sweet dreams little feller.
posted by mike osterhout at 1:07 PM
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