COWPOKE MOUNTAIN
I carry a gun. It's completely legal. I strap on a Ruger 9mm with a full clip, zip up a sweater around it, stick a NYS full carry permit in my pocket and I'm good to go. I mention this because it's been a dream of mine since i was plopped down in front of that B&W TV watching Hop-along-Cassidy. Everybody on TV carried guns. At that time I carried fake guns when I watched TV. As far as I knew every kid watching TV carried fake guns also. It was just what you did. I wanted to be a cowboy. My little brother still does. I'm content to be heeled. I may not have TV reception, but my gun is real.
This is just a little side note. It also doesn't hurt to let you know I'm armed at all times, just in case... What I really wanted to talk about is my self imposed role as a movie critic. I like it and hope you do also. I watch alot of movies. The thing is I don't go to the real movies too often and no one's greasing me with free tickets, so I have to review movies sight unseen. It's really not that difficult when you think about it. Read a couple of other reviewers, see a preview, check the ads and hype and well....lets see.
Brokeback Mountain is a good one to start with. Two very handsomish straight men playing two very handsomish gay men in 1963 cowboy country. Strap on that strap on. Lushily directed by Ang Lee-(Ice Storm, Crouching Tiger..) this is an epic Holliwood love story, only instead of animals or boring heterosexuals, two confused cowboys camp out, take their shirts off alot, say cowboy sort of stuff, hug, kiss, gaze into each other's eyes and....(tent flaps close). My gay friend told me about a practice (not limited to gays) called "sounding". I had to look it up- "a long arm of the sea". Ahoy matey! This practice involves inserting things in a rather small, seemingly very wrong place for pleasure. What the hell, cowboys are tough.
Everything goes good until summer's over and the cowboys have to go home to the wife and kids. Plenty of tight jeans, butt shots, shiney belt buckles and bucking broncs. The early cowboy fetishism of Robert Mitchum films is replaced by a more subdued fashion sense and tighter jeans. John Ford skies give way to blue screen fireworks displays and a little karate correography. Its not about the gay thing but more about Holliwood LOVE. This is how they get that sounding stuff past the censors.
In the end i don't know what happens so I can't give it away. I would have them argue with the wives alot, get caught with something on their collars, pine for each other, lie, cheat, become so tormented they can't go on and....Or they get the shit kicked out of them by homophobic (gay?) cowboys from the neighboring ranch, skinny dip in the swimming hole, square dance, nurse a little fawn back to health, and ride off into the sunsetstrip where they open up a leather shoppe. I think if I saw the movie I'd like it. I'm a sucker for a love story. Down periscope. We're gonna dive!
This is just a little side note. It also doesn't hurt to let you know I'm armed at all times, just in case... What I really wanted to talk about is my self imposed role as a movie critic. I like it and hope you do also. I watch alot of movies. The thing is I don't go to the real movies too often and no one's greasing me with free tickets, so I have to review movies sight unseen. It's really not that difficult when you think about it. Read a couple of other reviewers, see a preview, check the ads and hype and well....lets see.
Brokeback Mountain is a good one to start with. Two very handsomish straight men playing two very handsomish gay men in 1963 cowboy country. Strap on that strap on. Lushily directed by Ang Lee-(Ice Storm, Crouching Tiger..) this is an epic Holliwood love story, only instead of animals or boring heterosexuals, two confused cowboys camp out, take their shirts off alot, say cowboy sort of stuff, hug, kiss, gaze into each other's eyes and....(tent flaps close). My gay friend told me about a practice (not limited to gays) called "sounding". I had to look it up- "a long arm of the sea". Ahoy matey! This practice involves inserting things in a rather small, seemingly very wrong place for pleasure. What the hell, cowboys are tough.
Everything goes good until summer's over and the cowboys have to go home to the wife and kids. Plenty of tight jeans, butt shots, shiney belt buckles and bucking broncs. The early cowboy fetishism of Robert Mitchum films is replaced by a more subdued fashion sense and tighter jeans. John Ford skies give way to blue screen fireworks displays and a little karate correography. Its not about the gay thing but more about Holliwood LOVE. This is how they get that sounding stuff past the censors.
In the end i don't know what happens so I can't give it away. I would have them argue with the wives alot, get caught with something on their collars, pine for each other, lie, cheat, become so tormented they can't go on and....Or they get the shit kicked out of them by homophobic (gay?) cowboys from the neighboring ranch, skinny dip in the swimming hole, square dance, nurse a little fawn back to health, and ride off into the sunsetstrip where they open up a leather shoppe. I think if I saw the movie I'd like it. I'm a sucker for a love story. Down periscope. We're gonna dive!
posted by mike osterhout at 5:48 PM
1 Comments:
Stay down Jack and keep a stiff upper Lip..I carry too because I'm too damn old to run anymore.
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