LET US APPEASE THE FISH GODS
How did I leave it with little brother? Oh yeah, sis came in and he got distracted and went out for more beer. While he's gone let me relate another classic story about our relationship that will maybe give you some idea of our brotherly dynamic. If I could crack his skull open and dig around in there a little I bet there's one section reserved specifically for shitty stuff that I did to him and nice stuff he's done for me (and not been properly compensated for). He's that kind of guy- heart of gold- go out of his way to be nice to anybody- never ask for anything in return, but.......he keeps track of everything. Because he grew into such a giant bear of a man, I tried to stay on his good side. Up until xmas eve it seemed to being going good. Could it be that fish again?
I'm not much of a water lover. Lakes are OK, but i really don't feel to comfortable on the ocean. Too much flat surface and chances for things to fuck up. Bro on the other hand is completely at ease on the high seas. He's had boats for years and thinks nothing of going out fishing in the fog or watersking through shark infested waters. One calm summer day he invited the old man and I out on the boat for a day of fishing for blues. The fish were running and we got into them early. We started pulling them in and didn't stop until our arms turned to rubber. Beers were cracked, sandwiches eaten and all was going great until....
Now I admit I have a twisted sense of humor at times. But i didn't come upon this by accident. I inherited this from my father. Put the two of us together and if we don't end up in a big argument we're a lot of fun. At least we think so. Bro expertly piloted the boat back and forth through the race in Long Island sound letting the old man and I catch most of the fish. Then late in the afternoon we dropped anchor and as we took a breather, littler brother dropped his line in the water. In no time he was pulling them in. Then, all of the sudden his rod bent in two. He had a big one on. After a pitched battle he landed a giant blue. It was by far the biggest fish of the day. As he went to rebait his rig I held up the fish for my father to admire. "Look at this beautiful fish." I said, winking at Pop. "What does one do with such a beautiful fish?" The old timer didn't miss a beat. "Hell, I'd throw it back to appease the fish gods." he said solemnly. Without thinking I let it fly over my shoulder. It disappeared back into the deep blue, right before little brother's eyes.
What happened next should make all little brothers in this world proud. He said nothing at first. Then as he threw back the throttle and the boat gained speed i could see his lips move and above the roar of the engine heard every word. "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THINK THIS IS A BIG FUCKING JOKE DON'T YOU? YOU THINK I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN BABYSIT YOU TWO, SPEND MY MONEY ON BAIT AND GAS.....' Then he stopped talking (or I stopped listening fearing for my life) and as the boat skipped across the water i could see the puzzled faces of other fishermen in other boats, blurred by salt spray, and knew we were fucked. We were airborne. Then we crashed back to the water like it was a concrete floor. I bit my tongue. The old man turned green. Little brother smiled. That same smile I'd noticed right before he slammed me into my sister's wall. Ought oh. He's coming back to the table. We'll continue this another time.
I'm not much of a water lover. Lakes are OK, but i really don't feel to comfortable on the ocean. Too much flat surface and chances for things to fuck up. Bro on the other hand is completely at ease on the high seas. He's had boats for years and thinks nothing of going out fishing in the fog or watersking through shark infested waters. One calm summer day he invited the old man and I out on the boat for a day of fishing for blues. The fish were running and we got into them early. We started pulling them in and didn't stop until our arms turned to rubber. Beers were cracked, sandwiches eaten and all was going great until....
Now I admit I have a twisted sense of humor at times. But i didn't come upon this by accident. I inherited this from my father. Put the two of us together and if we don't end up in a big argument we're a lot of fun. At least we think so. Bro expertly piloted the boat back and forth through the race in Long Island sound letting the old man and I catch most of the fish. Then late in the afternoon we dropped anchor and as we took a breather, littler brother dropped his line in the water. In no time he was pulling them in. Then, all of the sudden his rod bent in two. He had a big one on. After a pitched battle he landed a giant blue. It was by far the biggest fish of the day. As he went to rebait his rig I held up the fish for my father to admire. "Look at this beautiful fish." I said, winking at Pop. "What does one do with such a beautiful fish?" The old timer didn't miss a beat. "Hell, I'd throw it back to appease the fish gods." he said solemnly. Without thinking I let it fly over my shoulder. It disappeared back into the deep blue, right before little brother's eyes.
What happened next should make all little brothers in this world proud. He said nothing at first. Then as he threw back the throttle and the boat gained speed i could see his lips move and above the roar of the engine heard every word. "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THINK THIS IS A BIG FUCKING JOKE DON'T YOU? YOU THINK I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN BABYSIT YOU TWO, SPEND MY MONEY ON BAIT AND GAS.....' Then he stopped talking (or I stopped listening fearing for my life) and as the boat skipped across the water i could see the puzzled faces of other fishermen in other boats, blurred by salt spray, and knew we were fucked. We were airborne. Then we crashed back to the water like it was a concrete floor. I bit my tongue. The old man turned green. Little brother smiled. That same smile I'd noticed right before he slammed me into my sister's wall. Ought oh. He's coming back to the table. We'll continue this another time.
posted by mike osterhout at 6:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home