PETITION THE LORD

I applied to Seminary school with my MFA, steaks from my dead cow, the mud from my boot and the blood of seven people. I was honestly surprised when they rejected me, stateing that it seemed to them that far from being a Christian I was anti-Christian. What the....? When I had first climbed Holy Hill in Berkeley and checked into attending Pacific School of Religion, the admissions office lady informed me that with my graduate degree and the tuition I was a shoe-in. So what was the problem?
I called the school to complain. I chose my words carefully. "What the fuck is this all about?" I asked nicely. "You Goddamn people said I was more than qualified. This is complete bullshit. Yes. Yes. Alright. I'll do that." CLICK. I think it was the first time any perspective seminary student had ever kicked up such a fuss. The poor woman in the office informed me that there was an appeals process and that I was more than welcome to make my case in writing. "God bless you, sir." she said fearfully and hung up.
So I did appeal, and to my even greater surprise they now accepted me with a full scholarship into a one year program called a CTS (Certificate for Theological Studies). This would allow me to study in any one of the ten seminaries under the auspices of The Graduate Theological Union. It would also be my choice which level of study i chose. I could hang with the new post-grads. in Old Testament class at PSR or trade up to study Advaita Vedanta Hinduism with the Doc. Divs. at the Jesuit School. It was perfect for me. Because i was basically doing this as a performance, a year was a good section of time and after that i could decide whether or not to continue on for a M.Div or D.Div.
Every day i took the BART from SF to Berkeley and went to class. I read the Bible, stopped smoking pot (in order to retain a little of it), wrote long papers and talked God. I dug it. Although I enjoyed my time in grad. school at SFAI it quickly ceased being a challenge academically. I hadn't been to a "real" school since UT Knoxville. I wanted to see if I could cut it. PSR was a real test for all those brain cells doing the work of their fried brothers. I struggled to keep a B average in order to retain my scholarship. If the subject ever came up I would always state that neither was I Christian nor Anti-Christian. I was a free agent. Take your best shot.